Trust the process and allow the unfolding, but what does that really mean? In a world that glorifies hustle, control, and achievement, flowing with life can seem counterintuitive. Yet, it’s often in moments when we release the need to control every detail, that life opens up in the most unexpected and beautiful ways.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control
Have you ever had a deep desire to control an outcome? Of course! We want to feel secure, to predict what’s coming, and to create certainty in an uncertain world. But the truth is, control is often an illusion. Life is inherently unpredictable, and when we grip too tightly to how things should go, we cut off the possibility of how they could go.

I know this all too well. One of the most pivotal moments in my life came when I decided to take a chance on a one-month membership to eHarmony. Online dating was new, I easily met guys out ‘in the real world’. So, I surprised myself when I reached for my credit card to pay for the subscription. At the time, I was trying to control so many aspects of my life, but something about that choice felt out-of-body, I just did it. I had no idea that this seemingly small decision would lead me to meeting my husband, Charlie. Going with the flow in this case, changed the entire course of my life.

Another time I felt the pull of uncertainty was when I took a job at a small family owned business, despite receiving advice to avoid it. I felt torn, unsure if it was the right path. AND for 11 months after the decision to work for that company, I doubted that it was the right path. I cried almost every day at lunch. I was miserable. Yet, by taking the opportunity, it is clear that it set me on a path that led me to the career I’m in now—a journey I never could have mapped out on my own.

Trusting the Unfolding
Trust is a crucial part of allowing life to unfold. And in those real tough moments, it can be real hard to trust that things are unfolding as they should. Seriously, crying almost everyday at lunch for 11 months – I was NOT seeing how things would or could work out for the best. And yet, they did in ways that I couldn’t have imagined.

One of the biggest shifts for me came when I said yes to taking a meditation class. My first year of graduate school had me stressed out of my gourd! I was literally willing to try anything to help me with the stress and anxiety I was feeling. I had no idea how much it would change my life. It wasn’t something I’d planned or even anticipated pursuing, but when I opened myself up to learning more, it became a cornerstone of my personal and professional journey. That’s the thing with trusting the process—you never know where it might lead, but it’s often somewhere better than you imagined.

Resisting Less, Receiving More
When we’re constantly in a state of resistance—pushing against what’s happening or wishing things were different—we block ourselves from receiving what life has to offer.

Lately, I’ve been feeling anxious and overwhelmed, caught in a loop of trying to control everything: my finances, my career, building a business my next steps. I’ve been wrestling with learning new apps, trying to figure out what’s next and how to make it all happen. But what would happen if I stopped? If I let go, even just a little, and allowed things to unfold as they are? What if I acknowledged my worries without letting them dictate my every action? What might open up if I trust the process rather than trying to manage every step?

Flow happens when we trust the process, embrace the unfolding, and let go of the need to micromanage every detail. I’ve seen this in my own life over and over again, but it’s a lesson I keep needing to relearn. Each time I find myself in a space of surrender, I rediscover that flow allows for more ease, more joy, and more connection with life itself.

Practical Ways to Embrace Flow:

• Start with Mindfulness: Ground yourself in the present moment. This can be as simple as taking a deep breath, noticing what’s around you, or checking in with your feelings. By inviting your attention to the present moment, you acknowledge what is happening right now, instead of worrying about what might happen.
• Release Rigid Expectations: Allow yourself to be flexible. Hold your goals lightly, knowing that the path to achieving them may look different than you expect.
• Be Open to Surprises: Life often has better plans than the ones we create for ourselves. I could have never predicted that I would become Dr. Theresa Bren Skaar, founder of Skaar and Company, LLC! Be open to new possibilities, even if they weren’t on your original agenda.
• Trust Yourself: You have navigated challenges before, and you will again. Trust that whatever unfolds, you have the inner resources to handle it.
  

Final Thoughts
Going with the flow is not about disengaging from life. It’s about engaging with it more fully, trusting that the unfolding process is part of your growth and journey. When you allow life to flow, you create space for more ease, joy, and unexpected gifts. Life isn’t something you have to control every step of the way. Sometimes, the best path forward is the one you didn’t even know existed.

Whether you’re navigating a career shift, personal growth, or simply trying to get through your daily to-do list, remember: flow with it. Life will unfold, as it always does, with or without your effort. But when you trust the process, you invite curiosity, ease, and the possibility of more joy into your life. Join me to explore these topics and more in my upcoming workshop Mindful Aging: Reshape Your Narrative.

Your turn! How do you trust the process in your own life? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!